Tuesday 25 September 2007

Reflective Practitioner: First Devising Session Plan

I have now planned the first devising session and wanted to share that with you:

First Devising Session

Explanation of project
Go through the brief (hand out)
Set down aims/objectives of the project (hand out)
Go through tasks that need to be achieved (handout)

Housekeeping
Go through and get their availability for the next week or so

Vocal Warm Up
Diaphragm breathing (x5)
Diaphragm breathing with Haa on exhale (x5)
Tongue Trills (x5)
Lip Trills (x5)
Exhale with Aaa (x 2)
Exhale with Ooo (x 2)
Exhale with Eee (x 2)
Mmmeee long and drawn out (x2)
Mmmay long and drawn out (x2)
Mmmah long and drawn out (x2)
Mmmoe long and drawn out (x2)
Mmmoo long and drawn out (x2)
Siren moving up (x2)
Girl gargoyle guy gargoyle
Betties bitter butter made her batter bitter

Physical Warm Up
Work through correct posture (golden thread technique)
Shoulder and neck rolls (x 5 each)
Shoulder bounce (x5)
Tense & release exercise (x 2 toes to tips with arms in air)
Yawn & stretch exercise
Chewing toffee exercise
Move around the room and I will call out instructions

Devising Warm Up

Introduction Mimic Game (One person steps in and introduces themselves, however they like, movement song etc, and then everyone else copies them. Each person gets a go at introducing themselves.)

Yes Lets! Game (one person says ‘Lets all….’, the rest reply enthusiastically with ‘Yes! Lets all….They then proceed to do that thing whole heartedly until someone else says ‘Lets all’)

Follow the Leader (it is important that they make every effort to copy exactly and seriously)

The Flag Game (they are waiting for the flag white they are saved but black they are all dead. A game of concentration and group dynamics)

Devising Session

She is a ? (Form a circle and once you step in you can’t stop until someone else buts in and takes your place. They have to think of all the different things that a woman or female can be called)

Her Confessions (has the same rules as the previous game but the confession have to be a statement, not a story)

Once Upon a time there was a woman. (One person starts to tell a story, if someone wishes to but in or start a new story, they have to say STOP and then start with the beginning line each time)

I went to the death shop (same as I went to the sex shop, only all the ways you can think to kill yourself)

Warm Down

Black Liquid scenario on the floor
Breathing out

All of the games in this session are designed to either generate material about Her for the speeches (She is a ? & Her Confessions) or are attempts at games which present the opportunity for liminoid acts (Once Upon a time there was a woman & I went to the death shop). I am hoping that we will be able to play each game endlessly, pushing it to its limits and maybe through that process discovering new games and structures.

The Hand Out

Premise

It is HER party; hats, food and drink but SHE never appears. The performers will play games and give speeches endlessly for 6 hours, like they are stuck in a time warp, destined to repeat them selves over and over but with nothing ever being the same twice. Through, games, tasks and repetition, the audience and performers will work together to piece together HER, to generate the missing SHE; endless possibilities will play out and be generated over a 6 hour period. Who is She, What is your relationship with HER?

Outline

This will be a durational piece of work that will last approx 6 hours. The audience will be able to come and go as they please, moving freely through the space. There will also be a diary booth that the performers will take individual audience members into throughout in order to record their thoughts about their experience.

The work will consist of 2 overriding structures that will marshal the activity of both the performers and the audience. The structure will last for approx 2 hours and will be repeated 3 times.

Much of this will be developed through a devising process, so it is difficult to be particularly specific at this stage about the structures that will marshal this work.

There will be two main things going on: Speeches and Games. I am hoping that there will be many speeches and 3 games. I have already decided on two games but everything else will have to be discovered through the devising process.

Aims & Objectives:
A Little Theory

Research Project Title

The Creatorly Participant: A Theory of Production and Reception.
(Re) Defining the Role of the Audiences of Contemporary Participatory Theatre Events.

Aims

To identify key strategies, methodologies and devices being applied in various contemporary participatory theatre.

To examine and explore the role of the audience at various contemporary theatre events.

To generate and develop new primary and secondary source material that identifies documents and disseminates the nature of various participatory theatre audiences’ roles.

To develop a written thesis of production and reception that will conceptualise the ontology of the relationships between particular and specific participatory theatre events and their audiences.

To explore the wider aesthetic, social and cultural implications of those relationships within the wider arena of contemporary performance theory.

Objectives

How can participatory theatre be defined?

What are the key practices that make up the arena of contemporary participatory theatre?

What is the ontology of specific and particular participatory theatre audiences’ roles?

What are the implications of those relationships between the work and its audiences for wider theoretical concerns?

A Little Background Info & Theory

I have been a performance practitioner for over 5 years now, running my own performance group: Vertical Exchange. As well as being involved in contemporary performance as a practitioner, I am also a theatre scholar; Siren Song is part of a year long, ongoing project that makes up the PaR section of my PhD research. (In fact this will be the 3rd development stage of the work; it has already been performed in Winchester and at Camden People's Theatre in London). I wanted to take a little time just to clarify and theoretically contextualize my work for you.

As I mentioned, Siren Song is part of my PhD thesis, which is entitled: Participatory Theatre: (Re) defining the role of the theatrical spectatorship. My research project seeks to investigate the production and reception of specific participatory theatre events through the actual experience of the makers and audiences. I am primarily concerned with the phenomenology of particular participatory events and the role that is taken up by the actual, material audiences in attendance. I am looking to conceptualise and theorise those actual experiences through applied cognitive materialism in order to develop a localised and specific theory of production and reception.

The objective of a PhD is to contribute original new knowledge to an existing field of scholarly research. The AHRC’s definition of PhD research is built around a frame of three key features that constitute and outline what may be classified as rigorous research:

• it must define a series of research questions or problems that will be addressed in the course of the research. It must also define its objectives in terms of seeking to enhance knowledge and understanding relating to the questions or problems to be addressed

• it must specify a research context for the questions or problems to be addressed. You must specify why it is important that these particular questions or problems should be addressed; what other research is being or has been conducted in this area; and what particular contribution this project will make to the advancement of creativity, insights, knowledge and understanding in this area

• it must specify the research methods for addressing and answering the research questions or problems. You must state how, in the course of the research project, you will seek to answer the questions, or advance available knowledge and understanding of the problems. You should also explain the rationale for your chosen research methods and why you think they provide the most appropriate means by which to answer the research questions.

(AHRC 2005) [i]

The aim of this piece of work is to develop and identify strategies and devices of performance practice, that enable the audience to take up the same role ad the ‘makers’ and ‘performers’ (a role which I have coined as the ‘creatorly participant’). This means that I am pioneering a new and experimental form of participatory practice; hence the reason you may have found the concept ‘perplexing’ or alien. Forging into new and un-chartered territory is always an ambiguous and risky activity. (As I will go on to explain, risk is a vital concept and a key factor that underpins the project).

With Siren Song, I aim to bring together a group of performers and an audience in a particular ‘space’ (the party), at a particular ‘time’ (for 6 hours on the 22nd Oct), then through a pre-determined structure of games and tasks, the performers and audience will work together to produce a postdramatic performance text. The whole point of the performance is that by playing certain games and undertaking specific tasks both the performers and audience generate a unique (to that particular event), polyphonic, multiplicitus, performative manifestation of HER/SHE. That performative manifestation of HER/SHE will not be a fixed, fictional ‘character’ but instead will be a set of possibilities, a plethora of ‘could’, ‘should’, ‘has’, ‘is’ an ‘will be’, HER/SHE’s. Thus HER/SHE will manifest in performance as a multi-dimensional presence; a presence that will be unique and personal for each and every person present, audience and performer alike. There is no conclusion, no cohesive whole or even an end to the work; potentially it could go for an eternity, dynamic, fluid and forever shifting. This dynamic repetition is a widely recognised device within contemporary practice. The element of the ‘unknown’ and the repetition push the boundaries of performance and make the event an actual experience, something that has to be lived through, not simply watched or witnessed; the audience become integral to the event. There is no event without the audience’s participation. Both audience and performer take an equal amount of risk during the 6 hour event. Risk and investment are the core ingredients for the success of the event.

I am sure that you can now understand why nothing except the games, tasks and space can be fixed before the event itself. I have no idea what will happen during the event itself and that is really the point. We will only be preparing for the event, not rehearsing in a traditional sense. The process will be designed to generate material and I do not want to fix too much before that journey begins, as this would betray the practice that I am adopting for the making of Siren Song. I want the performers to be involved at the very heart of the creative process. It’s scary but really fun and exciting at the same time.

My practice sits firmly within an established body of work and has developed out of a 20 year trend for a particular brand of devising. (I would suggest that perhaps you have a quick look at the work of groups such as Forced Entertainment, Uninvited Guests, Blast Theory, Lone Twin, Imitating the Dog, Goat Island, The Wooster Group, Punch Drunk, Stan’s CafĂ©, Reckless Sleepers and The Little Dove Theatre Company). If you want to look at some of the criticism and theory that surrounds these practices and to some extent helps to understand my own, you might want to look at the writings of Auslander, Zarilli, Kaye, Kershaw, Fuchs and Etchells; all of which chart and explain where my work sits in relation to other practice and how it has developed from the practices of other makers, like the ones listed above.

The games and tasks will generate new material each time they are played or undertaken, thus I am not concerned about ‘monotony’ setting in. The audience will be free to come and go as they please, different people will be in the space at different times; so despite games being repeated, I very much doubt that they will elicit the same response for the many possible combinations of players at any one time. The games will be repeated but I suspect that they will create a totally different experience each time. It is repetition and games that will replace the traditional dialect of orthodox drama, these devices will take up the slack within the postdramatic situation, creating the tension, structure and pace.

I can understand how a lack of details might make you feel nervous or as if I am unsure as to what I am doing with the project, I anticipated that because of my previous two experiences of working with undergrad students on this project in the previous stages. I can assure you that I am completely in control and the whole process is underpinned by sound epistemological and ontological considerations as well as being marshalled by a rigorous research methodology. It is experimental practice that is breaking new ground and new ground always feels a little precarious.

The process will be a journey, one which continues on into the event itself. I am an experienced practitioner and have worked with performers on many similar projects. I have a whole ‘toolkit’ of strategies and practical devices that we will be applying in the devising process in order to develop and shape the work. I will be leading and guiding through actual material methods for the whole journey; you will not just be thrown in at the deep end. It is my responsibility to enable you, the performers to develop in the appropriate manner. It is a responsibility that I approach with respect and professionalism. My role will be more of a creative facilitator than that of a director. I don’t know if you have come across the term ‘creative performer’, but that is the role that I will be facilitating you to adopt.

Alison Oddey. Devising Theatre: A Practical and Theoretical Handbook, London: Routledge, 1994.

Deirdre Heddon & Jane Milling. Devising Performance: A Critical History, Basingstoke: Palgrave Macmillan, 2006).

Emma Govan, Helen Nicholson and Katie Normington. Making a Performance: Devising Histories and Contemporary Practices, London & New York: Routledge 2007. All of these are great books for talking about this type of process.

Monday 24 September 2007

Maker’s Diary: Devising Week-sorted

Right-devising times and spaces are now booked, confirmed with uni and performer’s. All I have to do now is actually plan them, which I am off to do now.

Reflective Practitioner: Feedback

In order to cheer myself up and do something positive and constructive I have done some feedback for the new writing that the student sent over to me. I have now e-mailed that to her but wanted to share it with you too:

Voicemail: Forgive?

Hey, hi, how you doing? Um yeah, never thought you’d hear from me again right? You sound really good on your machine, you know, healthy…Well there was another reason I called…Um yeah I owe you…about £120, once I’m outa here and workin’ again, I’ll send it to ya. Still at the same address? Well hope so you know ‘cus well I will come see yah.
[Long Pause]
I still meant what I said the other day, when I was fucked up I treated you like shit but now I’m getting clean so that is all gonna change. Obviously I can’t drink again but I’ll take you for a pint when I’m out just as a, you know, thanks for bein’ a mate sorta…yeah you get the idea…Anyway, just leaving a message and well, I will see you in a few weeks, knock on wood.

You need to be careful of the ‘thought tracks’ and work on the authenticity of the dialogue. You just need to think about what you are trying to communicate and why; think about your intentions and the voices intentions as it feels a little bit naive at the moment.

Voicemail: Forget.

It’s your mother. That toaster we bought you has been supposedly been recalled because old age pensioners keep getting electrocuted from it. Personally I think it’s silly business but then again what do I know? You still haven’t written to your grandparents yet for their 50th…Just send a care if you’re soooo busy. Nag nag nag. Call you later.

This is great! you just need to watch out for your syntax sometimes.

Voicemail: Lost.

Hi, is this where Patrick lives? I’m looking for Patrick Murphy, he’s having a birthday bash tonight and I’ve completely lost directions to his place. I’m driving a white Volvo and I’m going up and down State Street ‘cus I know that is where the party is, just don’t know which house. If you get this message Patrick, run outside and flag me down ok? Ok Patrick? Anyway, love you and sorry for being late. See you soon, buh bye.

Okay, I should have mentioned this before really but I don’t want you to use any names at all, I want to keep it more ambiguous than that, (there are also names in some of the other texts, so the same goes for those as well). You need to watch out in this one for consistency of intention and register. It implies that you don’t know Patrick but then you go on to address him in a way that implies you do. I like the reference to a party though, that will really fit nicely with the ‘live action’ of the performance.

Voicemail: Found?

Shit…is it you? Is it really you? My god…you sound so, Jesus, I thought maybe…I thought maybe you would be much older, well…sound much older. Shit I have your voicemail, not a good start. Listen, Caroline gave me your number as she thought it was about time we met as I’m in England for a few days. Wow, I can’t believe it, I just can’t believe that I’m actually inches (I am not convinced by this metaphor here) from meeting you, well that is if you want to. I’m sure it comes as a shock as it did me when I found out I had a cousin (again just watch out for the syntax and how it sounds when read aloud)…Well I shouldn’t tie up the line. Take care…Call me back?

Again, I really like this one, just think you need to think about the intentions and then finding an authentic voice for that scenario.

Voicemail: Cat

Hello there, I’m calling from the Westgate Veterinary Centre to remind you that it is time for your cat’s yearly check up. We advise you to make an appointment with us as soon as you can. You can email us on appointments at Westgate pets, that is all one word, dot com or you can phone us from 8am till 6.30pm on weekdays on 01964-320-320. Thank you.

Brilliant!

Voicemail: Invitations

[Heavy breathing for a long while] – Hey, (should there be a thought here?) we are going out for drinks tonight you silly bint! Trust you to forget. We’ll be in the Bell and Hammer ok? Love ya, see you soon.
[Next voicemail message, same voice as before but sounds of pub in the background] Where are you? Hun, I left you a message ages ago…Don’t tell me you’re with him right now…Yeesh, ok well we are still in the Bell and Hammer and you know how is trying to come onto Janine. Get your arse down here so we can save her. Ok, love ya, bye.

I like this a lot, it might be nice to extend the messages further and have a whole night of them, with the voice getting drunker and drunker, so maybe 3 or 4 more messages.

Voicemail: Possessions

Good morning, this is Ben calling from DIBA to remind you that tomorrow the car insurance policy you have with us will expire and we would advise you to renew it. You can call us back on this number at any time and one of my colleagues will be able to help you. Thank you.

Good. Just have a little think about the register that you employ, really try and nail that style of communication, getting jargon and industry specific words in there.

Voicemail: Celebrating?

I’m drunk and I’m in the clear. Ms Mush for Brains finally came to her senses and I’m heading towards a lot of cash. Who says accident help-lines aren’t a pile of shit eh? Ha ha, we did it! Twenty-five grand in hang and now I’m covered. So great. I’m in the Oak Room if you want to join. Speak to you soon. [Long kissing noise]

You need to address the grammar and syntax in this one it does not entirely make sense. Really try and use your grammar to inflect and direct the voice in performance.

Voicemail: Family Protocol

It’s your mother. Richard has had a heart tremor (?). He is in surgery having his pacemaker checked, just thought you’d like to know. I’m not going to call your father as why should he care but I thought you would want to know. We are in the hospital at the top of the hill, just upstairs from the A&E. Give us a quick text love? Bye.

Think carefully about the purpose of this message, and work out the intention; it is lacking authenticity at the moment.

The Room and the Champagne

We had finished our exams and were starting the new year. We were in my room fooling around as we used to. She had brought over some Champers that She anxious to down but I just wanted a small glass of it to make Her effort seem worthwhile.
She peeled away the film and undid the metal tie. She was so pleased with Herself when the cork popped in Her hand.
She filled a plastic flute, one for me and a large one for Her. I think She loved the lingering sound of the fizz as it rose then settled down. As we drank the juice of the Widow Clicquot, I tumbled slowly into a deep sleep whilst She gave me head. The bottle was empty when I came to, and the room was breezy cold with all the windows flung open like when She would expose Herself on impulse, only She had gone. Her old school blouse hung on the back of the door. Her skirt was still around Her waist.
She was perched out the large window, trying to unscramble the mood but the trees refused to move so She could not tell if it was half or full.
That night She did not sleep with me, that night She sat up in a chair, smoking and writing in the clouds She billowed.

This is brilliant, I really like the feel and content. You do need to think about consistency though, one minute you are saying that she was gone and then she is there; you need to make more sense of the time line and action. I really like this one and think you could even extend it; it has heart and a truthful sense of warmth that underpins it. You just need to work on it a little to draw that out more.


Interview

[All spoken by the same person]
Interviewee Number one, try to describe Her…

She is an angel, a saint, Mother Teresa and Lady Di, Godzilla, Juliet, Tamora and Boudicca, a hound, a jackal, the eyes that Gloucester lost, the wicked fiend, the bloody tyrant, the carnivorous lamb.

How so? How so? She is all these things yet not! Make sense man!

She is Narcissus and Hades; vanity and death.

Imagination and thematic thinking, surely? Come, come, set it all straight!

She is the apple of God and of my eye, a writhing metaphor in a snake pit, a laughing babe in a warm soft crib, bearing her fangs in order to seek approval and loving coos.

So you say She is a problem then?

Nay. She is the all-glorious white light of doom.

Again, I really like the sentiment but I feel that it needs more work on finding its voice and structure. The bits that I have highlighted in blue feel alien with the rest of the text and a bit contrived. I like the references that you have made to historical and literary characters; this is a theme that has come up in my previous development of the work and maybe something that you want to develop within this text. Love it.

Temper

She resides in a hothouse,
Her ghosts and she
But this sauna is where she would rather be.
She drinks glasses of ice and boiling cups of tea,
She exercises rigorously
Yet brushes her teeth.
Yet her ghosts are not temperate to her humid home
So to her displeasure,
They come and go.
It is possible she is reptilian
To some degree,
She has to live in this hothouse
And this hothouse is She.

I really like this; can you develop it to have a context, maybe as part of a diary entry?

Decisions over Breakfast Toast

Love me, hate me, chose between me or the gun.
That is what She would say to me every morning,
Usually over Toast and raspberry jam or butter.
You can tell a lot about a person by their spread;
She liked it smooth, not bitty, no nonsense abut it,
Even if Her words contradicted that idea sometimes.

Just like Her breakfast, She never let anyone touch it or Her love but you wouldn’t hate Her for that yet She never let you have bitterness or curiosity as emotions of choice.
It all boiled down to love, hate, Her or the gun.
I was never certain if I did in fact pick the best option of the three…

Watch out again for consistency; what are you trying to communicate? Give us a little bit more of a context. There are a lot of mixed metaphors and at the moment it feels a bit random and unconnected; you need to find the heart of it and show it to us.


The Beginning of Womanhood?!

At the age of 11 on a field trip, she noticed blood spots in her knickers whilst using the toilet by the ice cream stand. When she emerged, knickers in hand, She had the distinct feeling that She was dying. Then when She noticed how the ice cream man put strawberry sauce on some of the ices, She then thought that perhaps Her stomach had popped and She was leaking strawberry out of Herself and into Her knickers.
No tears stung Her eyes but vomit rushed out of Her mouth as She ensured the rest of her ice was fully regurgitated beside the school bus. That day, She threw away her animal print knickers, and spent the rest of Her time worrying if maybe she would need a cork for whenever she had food, especially come dinner-time. She never said a word about the incident and never touched strawberry ices again until she turned 15 and attended her first Sex Ed class.

Just perfect! I really enjoyed reading this one and I know it will fit with the themes and aesthetic of Siren Song down to a Tee! Can you extend it, maybe make it into a monologue? My only criticism is the Sex Ed at 15, that late? You need to ensure that this is authentic, even in fiction there has to be a heart, truthfulness that underpins and gives us something to make a connection with.

Maker’s Diary: WTF!

I am trying to book space around my performer’s availability but it is proving to be a nightmare! I am not going to rant about the details but just wanted to share my intense frustration!!!

Sunday 23 September 2007

Reflective Practitioner: Much excitement

Two things to discuss really: the first rehearsal and some new writing.

The first rehearsal was a great success and a lot of FUN! Everyone threw themselves into it. Debbie, Phil, Ruth and Andy were the only performer’s who actually showed up but they generated incredible amounts of energy and really seemed to respond to each other. Debbie and Andy are very intuitive, whereas Phil and Ruth like to play for laughs. I am now really looking forward to getting down to devising. I wonder how the dynamic will shift when Felix, Adam and Danielle are added to the mix. Too many maybe?

The student that I have been corresponding with for a while now sent over some new writing for the tape texts that I wanted to share with you:

Voicemail: Forgive?

Hey, hi, how you doing? Um yeah, never thought you’d hear from me again right? You sound really good on your machine, you know, healthy…Well there was another reason I called…Um yeah I owe you…about £120, once I’m outa here and workin’ again, I’ll send it to ya. Still at the same address? Well hope so you know ‘cus well I will come see yah.
[Long Pause]
I still meant what I said the other day, when I was fucked up I treated you like shit but now I’m getting clean so that is all gonna change. Obviously I can’t drink again but I’ll take you for a pint when I’m out just as a, you know, thanks for bein’ a mate sorta…yeah you get the idea…Anyway, just leaving a message and well, I will see you in a few weeks, knock on wood.



Voicemail: Forget.

It’s your mother. That toaster we bought you has been supposedly been recalled because old age pensioners keep getting electrocuted from it. Personally I think it’s silly business but then again what do I know? You still haven’t written to your grandparents yet for their 50th…Just send a care if you’re soooo busy. Nag nag nag. Call you later.



Voicemail: Lost.

Hi, is this where Patrick lives? I’m looking for Patrick Murphy, he’s having a birthday bash tonight and I’ve completely lost directions to his place. I’m driving a white Volvo and I’m going up and down State Street ‘cus I know that is where the party is, just don’t know which house. If you get this message Patrick, run outside and flag me down ok? Ok Patrick? Anyway, love you and sorry for being late. See you soon, buh bye.



Voicemail: Found?

Shit…is it you? Is it really you? My god…you sound so, Jesus, I thought maybe…I thought maybe you would be much older, well…sound much older. Shit I have your voicemail, not a good start. Listen, Caroline gave me your number as she thought it was about time we met as I’m in England for a few days. Wow, I can’t believe it, I just can’t believe that I’m actually inches from meeting you, well that is if you want to. I’m sure it comes as a shock as it did me when I found out I had a cousin…Well I shouldn’t tie up the line. Take care…Call me back?


Voicemail: Cat

Hello there, I’m calling from the Westgate Veterinary Centre to remind you that it is time for your cat’s yearly check up. We advise you to make an appointment with us as soon as you can. You can email us on appointments at Westgate pets, that is all one word, dot com or you can phone us from 8am till 6.30pm on weekdays on 01964-320-320. Thank you.



Voicemail: Invitations

[Heavy breathing for a long while] – Hey, we are going out for drinks tonight you silly bint! Trust you to forget. We’ll be in the Bell and Hammer ok? Love ya, see you soon.
[Next voicemail message, same voice as before but sounds of pub in the background] Where are you? Hun, I left you a message ages ago…Don’t tell me you’re with him right now…Yeesh, ok well we are still in the Bell and Hammer and you know how is trying to come onto Janine. Get your arse down here so we can save her. Ok, love ya, bye.



Voicemail: Possessions

Good morning, this is Ben calling from DIBA to remind you that tomorrow the car insurance policy you have with us will expire and we would advise you to renew it. You can call us back on this number at any time and one of my colleagues will be able to help you. Thank you.



Voicemail: Celebrating?

I’m drunk and I’m in the clear. Ms Mush for Brains finally came to her senses and I’m heading towards a lot of cash. Who says accident help-lines aren’t a pile of shit eh? Ha ha, we did it! Twenty-five grand in hang and now I’m covered. So great. I’m in the Oak Room if you want to join. Speak to you soon. [Long kissing noise]



Voicemail: Family Protocol

It’s your mother. Richard has had a heart tremor. He is in surgery having his pacemaker checked, just thought you’d like to know. I’m not going to call your father as why should he care but I thought you would want to know. We are in the hospital at the top of the hill, just upstairs from the A&E. Give us a quick text love? Bye.

The Room and the Champagne

We had finished our exams and were starting the new year. We were in my room fooling around as we used to. She had brought over some Champers that She anxious to down but I just wanted a small glass of it to make Her effort seem worthwhile.
She peeled away the film and undid the metal tie. She was so pleased with Herself when the cork popped in Her hand.
She filled a plastic flute, one for me and a large one for Her. I think She loved the lingering sound of the fizz as it rose then settled down. As we drank the juice of the Widow Clicquot, I tumbled slowly into a deep sleep whilst She gave me head. The bottle was empty when I came to, and the room was breezy cold with all the windows flung open like when She would expose Herself on impulse, only She had gone. Her old school blouse hung on the back of the door. Her skirt was still around Her waist.
She was perched out the large window, trying to unscramble the mood but the trees refused to move so She could not tell if it was half or full.
That night She did not sleep with me, that night She sat up in a chair, smoking and writing in the clouds She billowed.



Interview

[All spoken by the same person]
Interviewee Number one, try to describe Her…

She is an angel, a saint, Mother Teresa and Lady Di, Godzilla, Juliet, Tamora and Boudicca, a hound, a jackal, the eyes that Gloucester lost, the wicked fiend, the bloody tyrant, the carnivorous lamb.

How so? How so? She is all these things yet not! Make sense man!

She is Narcissus and Hades; vanity and death.

Imagination and thematic thinking, surely? Come, come, set it all straight!

She is the apple of God and of my eye, a writhing metaphor in a snake pit, a laughing babe in a warm soft crib, bearing her fangs in order to seek approval and loving coos.

So you say She is a problem then?

Nay. She is the all-glorious white light of doom.





Temper

She resides in a hothouse,
Her ghosts and she
But this sauna is where she would rather be.
She drinks glasses of ice and boiling cups of tea,
She exercises rigorously
Yet brushes her teeth.
Yet her ghosts are not temperate to her humid home
So to her displeasure,
They come and go.
It is possible she is reptilian
To some degree,
She has to live in this hothouse
And this hothouse is She.


Decisions over Breakfast Toast

Love me, hate me, chose between me or the gun.
That is what She would say to me every morning,
Usually over Toast and raspberry jam or butter.
You can tell a lot about a person by their spread;
She liked it smooth, not bitty, no nonsense abut it,
Even if Her words contradicted that idea sometimes.

Just like Her breakfast, She never let anyone touch it or Her love but you wouldn’t hate Her for that yet She never let you have bitterness or curiosity as emotions of choice.
It all boiled down to love, hate, Her or the gun.
I was never certain if I did in fact pick the best option of the three…



The Beginning of Womanhood?!

At the age of 11 on a field trip, she noticed blood spots in her knickers whilst using the toilet by the ice cream stand. When she emerged, knickers in hand, She had the distinct feeling that She was dying. Then when She noticed how the ice cream man put strawberry sauce on some of the ices, She then thought that perhaps Her stomach had popped and She was leaking strawberry out of Herself and into Her knickers.
No tears stung Her eyes but vomit rushed out of Her mouth as She ensured the rest of her ice was fully regurgitated beside the school bus. That day, She threw away her animal print knickers, and spent the rest of Her time worrying if maybe she would need a cork for whenever she had food, especially come dinner-time. She never said a word about the incident and never touched strawberry ices again until she turned 15 and attended her first Sex Ed class.

Thursday 20 September 2007

Reflective Practitioner: Meetings & Hope

I had a meeting with Olu today and he has asked me to prepare a lead lecture for current debates focusing on reception theory. He will place it in the module structure so that it directly follows the performance. I will have to start working on that asap.

Wednesday 19 September 2007

Maker’s Diary: Familiar Frustrations

Ok, I have had to cancel the first rehearsal because more of the performers can’t make it. I am going to try for Fri 21st Sept 8-11pm. I have e-mailed all and asked them to confirm this. I have also optimistically booked space for that…..fingers crossed.